i cannot stand another failure!

After finishing revising some chapters in bio. I decided I should go off to sleep, since I plan to wake up early in the morning to go with my family to Bandar. So, i tucked in to bed by 1-ish AM but its been awhile now I have this feeling i am going to fail AGAIN that made it hard for me to sleep.

Tossed and turned for almost about an hour then I figured gahhh .. i can not sleep with this feeling,jumped right out of bed, and continued to study

I cant remember what time i stopped studying but i had a sense of self satisfaction out of it.woke up at 8.30 AM, because i had a dream i was going to be LATE !! ahahah as usual woke up grumpy. i notice im not a happy morning person, or not a happy person when i just wake up, but my mom is AND BOOYYY... can she really annoy me. everytime i wake up wondering " how can she be so happy waking up ?! "

i dont know if its just me but .. i think my dads a unhappy morning person too XD ! hahahah so i bathed and was on the way to Seria by 9AM for breakfast. xD !

woot!

its been along time since i last blogged .

will do something about it soon !

=)

<3s. xan

i guess its time to let go

i guess i have nothing to say

aside from the fact that

i have no regrets ,

i loved him endlessly

i gave him his time and space

which he took advantage of

he choose his online gaming friends

and the game over me

thats my sad story.

loved a guy

gave him my all

and

all he can say is ..

[1/27/2011 10:03:49 PM] lewis cloudnine: means u cant accept me like that?

to me his games > me , his friends > me , his online game > me . =) best !

for a very long i understand the fact that

in the morning or afternoon my boyfriend has to study

then .. afternoon we would hang till he gets tired

then it became morning and afternoon FULL TIME

he would be in school or gym . then rest of times

his with me gaming sa/maple or smth

ok totally understand

and then it evolved into friday / saturday / sunday

gone , with friends till night

and the rest of the hours left with me

ok understand

and then now CURRENTLY

no change . morning afternoon INCLUDING NIGHT NOW

gone,with online friends playing SA =)

so when is it time for me ?

1. when theres no one to play with already

2. when is already dead tired

3. few mins before he goes to bed

how am i going to go pass this ?

theres onli so much i can do ,

i always have this feeling

its because of me this relationship

is still going , and if i stop trying

to glue things together

it would fall apart

im honestly tired

hahaha

its almost every night now

i cry myself to sleep

wondering will it be worth it all?

will he even know

im tired, im hurt

at times im spilling my guts out to him

or sometimes im telling him smth is wrong

he just turns to a new topic.

and right now his asking me to get a new guy.

hahaha !